Dave and I were trying to bust out a fast bike ride today. More like I was trying to go fast and Dave was trying not to run into the back of me while he got bored.
The bike trails are pretty popular so I try to be courteous and holler "left" so they know I'm passing them and say "thanks" as I go whipping past them. When someone is coming from the other direction I squeeze to the right and only fake like I'm going to throw an elbow.
I could see them from a long ways away. A gaggle of teenage thugs fucking around on their bikes not paying attention. As we got closer one by one they looked up and moved over. Except for one little fuck. He just sat there on his bike moving forward staring me down playing chicken.
I get within 20 feet from the turd and yell "MOVE!"
It was just enough to make him break his eye contact. He jerked a little bit then swerved over. Just as I passed him he dug deep and came up with a single insult. Bitch.
Come on you douche. You can come up with something better than that.
I am glad it turned out that he was a little chicken shit and I didn't have to ditch. Dave would have gotten all manly and fought for my honor. I would have spent the rest of the night showing my appreciation with food and backrubs. This way I got to skimp out and feed him leftovers and I get to fall asleep whenever I'm ready not when he's ready.