Thursday, August 20, 2009

NyQuil blackout

Dave pokes me and says "Hey you wanna get busy later?"

"Um sure but I'm still kinda feeling like shit so I better go hunt through the medicine cabinet and find something that will get rid of the sludge in my head. Oh and the new season of Top Chef starts tonight so you'll have to wait until that's over." I'm all about the romance.

DayQuil and NyQuil are my only options. DayQuil gives me the shakes so I grab the NyQuil and convince myself I can shake off the drowsy feelings.

20 minutes later I can feel the pressure in my head lifting.

Another 5 minutes and I'm knocked out cold on the couch. Apparently Dave let me sleep on the couch for a couple of hours, woke me up and told me who won Top Chef Masters, I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed.

I have absolutely no recollection of anything past the Quickfire Challenge and this morning it feels like I got a donkey kick to the head.

Fucking NyQuil hangover.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


When we took Alex to his new school last week for Back To School night I wanted to turn around and walk back out. All of the kids looked so HUGE.

I was blown away as we made our way to his classroom. When did elementary schools start needing lockers?

I didn't have to wake him up on his first day of school, he was too excited to sleep in. I didn't have to push him to eat breakfast or to get dressed.

We took pictures, walked to his classroom. Hugged him and kissed him and left him.

Dave and I spent the next 6 and a half hours anxiously waiting to pick him back up. We fought every urge to go to the school and just peek.

Yesterday, his second day of school was a little easier. We had done it once and I didn't have to worry about him making it through the day.

Today was the hardest yet. Parents were supposed to stay outside. No more walking him into his classroom. He was on his own.

We pulled up to the curb, I got him unbuckled, handed him his backpack and lunch box, made sure he knew which way to go and watched him start for the doors.

HOLY FUCK. THOSE AREN'T KIDS. THEY'RE NBA PLAYERS. The kids streaming into the school looked even bigger than they did on back to school night.

I didn't cry on the first day but I did today. I held it back long enough for him to walk through the school doors then let loose. It felt so wrong to drop him off at the curb and see the apprehension on his face every time he turned around to see if we were still there.

Two hours left before I can go get him. Back to watching the clock.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Scofflaw

Working from home isn't easy. Its tough to balance work and home and not ignore one side too much. So I start very early, so early the birds haven't started singing yet.

This morning I flick the power button on my laptop and stare at the computer trying with my uncaffeinated head to remember my new password.


Without it, my work laptop is less useful than a brick thanks to the hard drive encryption software my company forced me to install. What, they think I have sensitive data and that I'm irresponsible enough to let my laptop get stolen?

ok. maybe they're right

Tscreen taunting me with "incorrect login" also includes the helpdesk phone number. Good thing they do, I wouldn't have the slightest clue how to get a hold of them because all of that information is in the laptop.

"We're sorry, the helpdesk hours are from 6am to 9pm mountain"

sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIT. hour and a half to wait. I'm an all powerful administrator but I still cant get into my own damn computer.

I spend the time trying every possible curse word combination I can think of because that's how I roll. It helps start my morning off right when I get to curse at my computer as I'm getting started.

90 seconds after the helpdesk opened I was dialing their number.

I spend the next 20 minutes on the phone using their secret backdoor account and password into my computer.

helpdesk lady: normally windows would give you a prompt to change your password but since you're at home it wont and you'll be locked out of your computer again the next time you reboot. You'll need to be in the office to get it reset. Just call us back and we'll do this again

thanks a pantload lady.

After I got the kids up I loaded them into the car so they could take a trip down to my office to call the helpdesk. again.

We barely make it a half mile when I notice a cop car has pulled up behind me and is following very closely.

SHIT. the tags are expired. I was planning on getting them yesterday. you know when everything else was going down

me: Hey Alex, check it out. We're about to get pulled over. Wait for it... wait for it... Ahhh there's his lights.

Rolled down my window when the cop walks up and a light bulb goes off in my head.

me: I know, my plates are expired. You're Tony right? Dave is my husband. You were at my wedding.

cop: Hey, I knew the registration that came up on my computer was familiar. How is Dave? Is he still doing the pistolsmithing?

a minute or two of chatter continues...

me: do you want my license?

cop: nah, you're good just get them taken care of.

hell yes.

Dave forwards me a text a few minutes later. The cop had tattled on me.

"Just stopped your wife!! Lucky I know her or I'd throw the book at her!!"

Lucky for me Dave still has friends on the police department.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

sadness and disappointment

The ED and her boyfriend have broken up and their separation has taken every dramatic turn possible. Alex was home with us while most of the pot flinging and cop calling was going on. Unfortunately, the transfer day came and she still wanted him back with her.

I feel so totally guilty watching and playing with Alex knowing that his life with her was flopping around and there wasn't anything I could do to prepare him for the change. Dave and I were not going to be the ones to give him the bad news that the home he knew with her was gone and that they would have to move in with her parents and her sister and his cousins. I feel guilty that I saw this train coming and knowing he would be crushed with the blow.

I knew Alex would be crushed, the boyfriend was one of very few things he liked in that house. He has been in Alex's life for over 4 years. Alex has no memory of life before this guy. I knew he would feel abandoned and I knew he wouldn't understand why her boyfriend didn't want them in his family anymore. Its not much different than the hurt of a divorce.

He lasted less than 24 hours with her before she called asking us to come pick Alex up. Alex had quit eating and cried himself to sleep. He got on the phone Dave scared that he would be gone too.

It was pretty clear Alex was letting out some stress by finding the oddest things funny and they would send him into uncontrollable laughter. Just the words "googly eyes" left him gasping for breath.

We let him pick where we had dinner and he attacked his corn dog and fries like a seagull on a Dorito.

We got home from the restaurant and got the kids ready for bed. We figured they could both use a good night's sleep. Alex talked for a couple of minutes on what he was sad about then we spent some time trying to come up with good things about his new home with her. 3 minutes after we covered them up they were both passed out. No talking, no screwing around, no sneaking out of bed to see how far they get down the hall before they're busted and sent back to bed.

13 hours later I still had to wake Alex up.

The ED called this morning and since Alex was doing better she wanted him back. "I'll be there at noon and take him out to lunch" Another phone call mid afternoon confirmed again that she would be here by 12.

Alex clearly didn't want to go when we told him she was coming to get him so we sweetened the deal letting him know she was going to take him to lunch.

Noon comes and goes and there isn't a word from her. Play outside waiting for her to show up. She doesn't have a phone so we have no way of contacting her.

1 pm comes and I fix Alex some lunch apologizing that she wasn't there to take him out like she said.

2 pm comes and goes and we spend more time playing. Dave and I are having piggy back races up the driveway and Alex thinks is hilarious that Dave keeps cheating to guarantee their win.

3 pm comes and she finally pulls up in a car we've never seen before with no explanation of where she was or why she's so late.

More promises to Alex that we will be here whenever he needs to call us even if its 4:17 am. We tell him we love him and that we will see him tomorrow.

She drives away and Dave and I are back to drumming our fingers on the table waiting for the first opportunity to get him back.