The Scofflaw

Working from home isn't easy. Its tough to balance work and home and not ignore one side too much. So I start very early, so early the birds haven't started singing yet.

This morning I flick the power button on my laptop and stare at the computer trying with my uncaffeinated head to remember my new password.

sonofabitch.

Without it, my work laptop is less useful than a brick thanks to the hard drive encryption software my company forced me to install. What, they think I have sensitive data and that I'm irresponsible enough to let my laptop get stolen?

ok. maybe they're right

Tscreen taunting me with "incorrect login" also includes the helpdesk phone number. Good thing they do, I wouldn't have the slightest clue how to get a hold of them because all of that information is in the laptop.

"We're sorry, the helpdesk hours are from 6am to 9pm mountain"

sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIT. hour and a half to wait. I'm an all powerful administrator but I still cant get into my own damn computer.

I spend the time trying every possible curse word combination I can think of because that's how I roll. It helps start my morning off right when I get to curse at my computer as I'm getting started.

90 seconds after the helpdesk opened I was dialing their number.

I spend the next 20 minutes on the phone using their secret backdoor account and password into my computer.

helpdesk lady: normally windows would give you a prompt to change your password but since you're at home it wont and you'll be locked out of your computer again the next time you reboot. You'll need to be in the office to get it reset. Just call us back and we'll do this again

thanks a pantload lady.

After I got the kids up I loaded them into the car so they could take a trip down to my office to call the helpdesk. again.

We barely make it a half mile when I notice a cop car has pulled up behind me and is following very closely.

SHIT. the tags are expired. I was planning on getting them yesterday. you know when everything else was going down

me: Hey Alex, check it out. We're about to get pulled over. Wait for it... wait for it... Ahhh there's his lights.

Rolled down my window when the cop walks up and a light bulb goes off in my head.

me: I know, my plates are expired. You're Tony right? Dave is my husband. You were at my wedding.

cop: Hey, I knew the registration that came up on my computer was familiar. How is Dave? Is he still doing the pistolsmithing?

a minute or two of chatter continues...

me: do you want my license?

cop: nah, you're good just get them taken care of.

hell yes.

Dave forwards me a text a few minutes later. The cop had tattled on me.

"Just stopped your wife!! Lucky I know her or I'd throw the book at her!!"

Lucky for me Dave still has friends on the police department.