Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I'm sorry you're working on Christmas Eve and listening to me


I'm a dumb ass. seriously.

Ummm, the computer isn't dead. The monitor is.

What the fuck. I've been in the IT field for 13 years and started out doing over the phone tech support moving myself up to where I am now as an IT god ruling over 400 servers and 5 petabites of data.

I had to admit my mistake to several people stuck working on Christmas Eve taking dumb ass calls from dumb ass people like me that apparently don't know their monitor from their ass hole. If they laughed at me they were at least kind enough to hit the mute button so I wouldn't hear them snicker.

I'm thrilled they will take the computer back and even pay for the shipping. I'll take the money I get back and go buy myself a sweet tricked out monitor WITH A FUCKING WARRANTY.

Merry Christmas

I love making a whole night of wrapping presents. I save them all for a night or two before Christmas then sit down after the kids go to bed with some tea or wine, turn on a Christmas movie and have my fun.

This year I did it a little different, I didn't turn on a Christmas movie. I was flipping through the channels and found I Am Legend. What a fucked up movie to watch while wrapping presents. It took me three times as long as it should have because I mostly sat there with my hands clasped looking like a deer in headlights or my mouth hanging open wondering what the hell I was watching. My tea went cold 4 times and I never actually made it to the bottom of the cup.

I'm always giddy waiting for Christmas day. The excitement has never worn off. I have always loved giving presents to everyone and especially now that I get to watch my own kids get excited for Christmas and see the light in their eyes opening presents.

Olivia is so excited she can hardly say "Santa" She either whispers it or yells it. Alex has a paper chain he's been keeping track of how close Christmas is by removing one chain a day. Today we'll keep track of Santa on Norad Santa Tracking and make cinnamon rolls for breakfast tomorrow morning. I love it so much it makes me cry.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I hate.

I'm scheduled for another foot surgery in 10 days and I'm more scared of this one than the last one. With the last surgery I didn't really know what to expect and I was pretty sure it was going to work. Somehow the blood got cut off to one of my joints and the cartilage has started to die. Its not uncommon to see this kind of injury in ankles so treat the joint in my foot like they would an ankle. Open it up, drill holes in the cartilage to restore blood flow, shatter the joint so it heals with a stronger thicker platform for the cartilage to sit on.

Except it didn't work.

The first surgery was scheduled on our anniversary, this one is scheduled for New Year's eve. At least I'm sneaking it in at the last possible day for this year's insurance AND have the bonus of already hitting my deductible for the year.

I'm spending way too much time fretting about this. This time they will be scaling back the cartilage, drilling again and moving a tendon. The tendon thing is to keep the toe attached to the metatarsal head stiff. When I curl my toes I'll have one toe that stays straight. I know its the next logical progression but I'm scared. I'm scared of anesthesia and surgery. I'm scared of how far back they will have to cut the cartilage. I'm scared of how creepy the toe thing is going to be.

I already know how hard its going to be to move around the house and having to rely on everyone else for everything for a few weeks. I'll be stuck taking baths again needing help getting in and out feeling very geriatric. I'll hate sitting there knowing the kids want and need me to play and help them and I will be stuck in a fucking chair. Not to mention the suck side effect of my bowels totally shutting down for a few days and having a monster painful poop after overdosing on stool softeners.

I think the one thing I'm dreading the most is the fugly boot.


I have spent a grand total of 14 weeks in this thing already and I HATE THE FUCKING THING. I hate that it draws attention and I feel like I'm sausage stuffing my leg into my pants just to try to cover it up. I hate my feet not being level with each other. I hate how hard it is to give the kids a bath with it on and I hate trying to get up off the floor with it.

I hate Hate HATE HATE it.

It is one year and one month since this shit has started and it has been 9 months since they told me to stop running. It sucks to see the treadmill all folded up in the basement gathering dust and not have any idea when I'll be able to get on it again.

Enough pissing and moaning. I need to get back to playing with the kids on the floor while I still can.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

used my google-fu

What the fuck. 5 days before Christmas and our computer shits the bed. Why couldn't this happen BEFORE I was done shopping and could have given it to Dave as his present. Instead he will be getting super fancy goose down pillows to replace the chunky stinky ones he's been sleeping on for years that I cant stand anymore AND a brand new computer that he can monopolize 99% of the time. I don't really feel all that bad that he's getting a computer and pillows, I of course had to get myself matching pillows. They have been stuck in the back of my closet for a week and the longer they have sat in there the more unhappy I've gotten with my current pillows.

Shopping for the new computer sucks. 5 different windows open comparing all of the different models and one more just to hunt for coupon codes cuz I'm a cheap bastard. Using my google-fu I was able to find enough online coupon codes to knock off almost $100 from the total and get myself free 2 day business shipping. Hell yes.

Friday, December 19, 2008

starting over

I had another blog and I loved it. It turned out to be one of my best outlets when my world started to feel a little too small. I don't have many friends near me so my day to day life tends to revolve around my husband, my kids and my work.