The foot doc must think I'm insane. He told me exactly what I expected to hear and I still burst into tears...
I quit wearing the fugly boot about a week ago. I hit the limit of my tolerance and couldn't bring myself to put it back on. I went the 6 weeks required so I didn't feel all that bad about it or feel like I was jeopardizing my foot's ability to heal.
To look like a good little patient, I slipped the boot on right before my appointment and walked in.
Unfortunately for him I was already uptight and ready to snap when he came in.
doc: "Lets go ahead and wean you out of the boot, here's a schedule to follow..."
doc: "how does it feel?"
me: "I don't know. Its sore but there's so much going on down there I can't pinpoint anything"
doc: "I don't feel any catch in the joint movement. I only want you to wear stable shoes and I want to see you back here in 4 weeks. Its going to be sore. Sore at night, sore walking, sore in the morning. It wont be normal when you come back in 4 weeks, but it might be better 4 to 6 weeks after our next visit"
and here is where I turn on the waterworks...
I *should* be happy, but you know something? IT STILL SUCKS. By the time I might be normal it will have been 18 months since this shit started, over a year since I last ran, and I NEED that outlet. I need to turn on my iPod, shut out the world and go pound pavement until I don't have the energy to be uptight, worried, or just generally crazy.
I know its not the foot doc's fault and I shouldn't direct my frustration in his general direction. He really is trying to fix me and get me back to running. He's just an easy target, especially when the bills for this latest surgery have started to roll in and the total from the very beginning to now is almost $20,000.
That is one really expensive fucking toe.