valentines

Not a single snowflake yet and schools have been canceled.

WTF.

Don't they realize I tortured Alex last night doing everything I could short of duct taping his ass to his chair so he would finally finish writing his name on the 30 valentines we had to make for preschool?

Preschool valentines suck. When I was in school it was a simple perforated card with some cute little kitten with a heart that said "Be Mine" and maybe a heart candy or two taped to the card. Now its a competition between the Alpha-Moms to make the best valentine PACKAGE. Seriously? A package? We don't need any more decorative pencils, shitty heart erasers, cheap little necklaces or bracelets, and stickers. You wanna put something in there I do need?

CHOCOLATE people.

I can talk myself out of buying it, but when its given to us its easy to collect it all, stick it in the cookie jar and strap the jar to my face like a feed bag when the kids aren't looking cuz its not fair to eat it in front of them ya know.

Back to the fucking valentines... The number of valentines we needed to make is bullshit. Screw the fact that his class has a total of 11 kids. The teacher wants to spread the love and have every kid give a valentine to all other kids regardless of whether they are in the morning or afternoon class or going on M/W/F or Tu/Th.

I couldn't control my competitive side and I joined in the race for the best valentine package with the other alpha-moms. I went all Martha Stewart and crammed heart shaped straws, stickers, chocolate, and all 30 Iron Man valentines Alex labored over into cute little plastic bags tied closed with red ribbons.

I should be ashamed of myself but I'll probably hold in my feelings of regret until I scour his valentines next week looking for a package that's better than mine. Uh, his.