maintenance

We're being put on a maintenance schedule because Alex is doing so well in his therapy.

Good right?

except it PISSES ME OFF.

I have always looked for some way to take the ED back to court AND win full custody. I really hoped this lady could help us with the custody aspect as well as helping Alex manage his feelings.

The second therapy session she sat in front of me and told me it was obvious to her that he doesn't want to be with the ED and that she could help us in court. How is she helping if we're seeing her every 4-6 weeks?

I thought a door had magically opened for us and that we found the yellow brick road that led directly to a win in court. Looks like that door has closed and I am back at square one knowing the only chance we have is if the ED really screws up and starts dealing drugs out of the house or we find physical evidence of abuse.

As I let my hope grow, I became more and more patient with the situation telling myself it was only a matter of time. We are stuck in the same ol' fucking cycle and going nowhere.

I will give the therapist credit for gently pointing me and Dave in the right direction. We are remaining calm instead of reacting to his anger with anger and Alex has been vocalizing his feelings more.

The transition between the houses is still just as difficult. Alex is now starting the process with trying to negotiate staying with us longer before he moves to tears.

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I did get to see the foot doctor again this morning and I walked out of that 5 minute appointment in a much better mood. Not only did I get the OK to start walking for exercise but I also got to shed the guilty feeling for being an ASSHAT the last time I was there.

(Its the good ol Catholic upbringing that helps me hold on to my guilty feelings for so long.)

The foot dr walked in and I didn't give him a chance to say anything before I was apologizing profusely. Apparently I wasn't as rude as I gave myself credit for... I'll have to work on that for the next appointment in another 6 weeks.