Friday, April 3, 2009


I don't know what to say lately. There is so much in my head right now I'm having a hard time finishing one full thought let alone write it down.

Did I seriously sit in a 2 hour meeting this week with my company's CEO and the only thing I remember from the meeting is he looks a little bit like John Ritter. but older.

Dave wants to schedule a vasectomy. Its all feeling so final... A few pangs of regret and I'm wondering if I could (or should) talk him out of it. I would be WAY more OK with this if I knew Olivia would be my only pregnancy.

Now that I'm back on the treadmill its a little reminiscent of when I first quit smoking and I would see Dave's cigarettes on the counter.

My hand hovering over the speed button having a pretty serious internal debate. 1 mph faster wont make that big of a difference will it? Shut up and wait. But I know I can do it. Shut up and wait, only 3 weeks left before we see the foot doc again. BUT I WANT TO.

Dave has his workshop in the basement. Occasionally metal shavings work their way upstairs and we sometimes step on them. It hurts but they're usually quick to yank.

Olivia had a big one stuck deep in her foot and we tried everything. Bribing, coaxing, distracting and letting it sit for a week to see if it would work itself out. It got sore enough that she wouldn't even walk around on her tiptoes anymore. In the end Dave had to hold her down so I could dig it out.

That was two days ago. She still hasn't forgiven Dave and she reminds me a couple times a day that I hurt her foot. It doesn't matter that its better now, she feels betrayed and I feel pretty fucking guilty.

Dave is still trying to bribe his way back into the sunshine of her love. After he gives her something she tells him "I don't like you".

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