Tuesday, April 14, 2009

sign language

I started learning sign language when my niece was born.

Some would say "Oh how nice that is..." Me? I say I'm a dumb fuck for not learning it earlier for my sister in law. Instead I made her try to read my lips.

The more I learn the more I realize I have to use it every day all day or I forget signs and look like an idiot.

Like at the grocery store when I wound up in the checkout line with the guy that has a cochlear implant. Obviously he knows sign language so I try to show off my new skills. He knows I'm learning so he tries to guess what I'm trying to say.

I'm standing there fanning myself with my hand because I'm hot and sweaty from hauling ass through the store.

He thinks I'm saying I'm happy.

I tell him I am happy but I'm really just hot and trying to cool myself off. Except instead of saying "I'm hot" I said "I'm gay hot". I didn't know what I said until a few days later when my sister in law clued me in.

The checkout guy's laughter makes a whole lot more sense now.

Dave has tried teaching Olivia HIS version of sign language too. Unfortunately she's picking it up a little too fast.


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