Thursday, January 29, 2009

Empty bed

I really didn't expect the end of the tax conversation to be the end of the arguing but I also didn't expect the retaliation to come as fast as it did or the way it did.

I took Alex to preschool like any other preschool day. Hug and a kiss and "I'll see you right after preschool". He gives me a quick wink and a thumbs up and runs into the classroom.

Two hours later my phone alarms goes off telling me its time to get my ass in gear to go pick him up.

As I'm pulling into the parking lot I see the Egg Donor getting out of her car. She looks right at me and heads in the building.

I have absolutely no legal right to say no and take him home. I call Dave and tell him she was there. He calls her and 30 seconds later calls me back. "She already has him, come home."

So I sit in my car dumbfounded at her bold move not able to drive away.

Then I see Alex walking out of the building in front of her crying "I'm not supposed to go with you. I'm going back to dad's house" and she puts him into her car. No booster seat and no seat belt.

I felt very closterphobic sitting in my car watching Alex climb into hers hoping Alex didnt feel betrayed when I wasn't there knowing there wasn't a fucking thing I could do.

When I get home Dave tells me that she called him right after they left the preschool to yell at him for cutting Alex's hair "Don't you know he has a huge head that looks like a basketball and he needs a lot more hair to hide it???" and hearing Alex in the back telling her "Only Dad gets to cut my hair."

To poke at Dave she has successfully stomped that little boy. Dave and I talked about what to do next and decided not to fight with her over the phone when we have no control over where Alex is in her house and what he would be listening to. Instead we decide its best to talk to Alex and apologize to him and make sure he's ok.

Dave gets Alex on the phone and says "Alex buddy, I'm so sorry. Mom and I didn't tell you ***** was going to pick you up. "

Alex says "That's OK Dad, I know it wasn't your fault. I'll be OK."


When the parenting plan was being set up they went through several versions. The only thing that changed from version to version was the support amount we would pay her every month. When we finally hit the magic number she signed.

So the parenting plan they set up has never been followed. We have adjusted schedules based on her whim because it has ALWAYS worked out better for Dave and I. We have always had more time with Alex than what the parenting plan spells out. According to the parenting plan schedule it was her time. Legally we couldn't do anything about her just showing up and taking him yesterday.

I also can't believe she put preschool in the middle of this. She put those teachers in a terrible position knowing either Dave or I were supposed to pick him up and having her show up and take him. They also didn't have a choice but to let him go.

Olivia is now taking the brunt of my feelings of helplessness. I'm compensating for my inability to hug Alex by wanting to hold her tight keeping her as close to me as I can today. Several times last night I woke up and couldnt go back to sleep so I snuck into the kids room and laid down with her. I would lay there as close as I could without waking her up staring at Alex's empty bed.

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds like a mess, and it breaks my heart when people talk like there isn't a kid in the room. A big head?! Come on!